Communication With Teens

Communication with teens might be difficult at times but so long as parents uses the proper methods and attitude, teenagers will still open up and communicate with theirs parents. Below are some things that parents have to bear in mind so as to avoid conflict and having a successful communication with their teens.

• Always remember that during adolescence, communication generally decreases and a child will confide less in parents. This is a fairly normal process and parents should not be over reacted. 
• Listen to what is being said and try to understand the teenager's feelings and where he/she is coming from. Rather than thinking about arguments or retaliation, listen to him/her.
• Stop what you are doing and look at the teenager. Listen when he/she speaks to you. Be sure that you are giving her the proper attention and that he/she is not talking to a newspaper or to your back.
• Try to make sure that most of your communication is positive, not negative. Do not dwell on mistakes, failures, misbehaviors, or something they forgot to do. Give them positive communication and talk about their successes, accomplishments, interests, and appropriate behavior.
• Talk to them about their interests (e.g., music, sports, computers, dance-team practice, cars, motorcycles). Have conversations with them when you are not trying to make a point, to teach them something, or to impress them. Talk to them just to talk and to have positive verbal interaction.
• Avoid talking too much or giving long or too-detailed explanations, repeating lectures, questioning excessively, or using other forms of communication that will result in the teenager turning a deaf ear to you. Always be short and sweet.
• Try to understand the teen's feelings. You do not have to agree or disagree with them, just make them aware that you understand how they feel. Do not try to explain away their emotions. There are times when you do not have to fix things or make the teenager feel better. Understanding how he/she feels may be the primary comfort that is needed.
• Do not over react to what is said. Remember, sometimes teenagers say things that are designed to get a reaction from their parents. In addition, do not reject them too fast. Sometimes it is better to think about the request and give a response later. In other words, think before you open speaking.
• Try to create situations in which communication can occur. You have to be physically close to the teenager for communication to occur. A television in the adolescent's room can be an additional barrier to family communication. Whenever possible, the parent should try to do things together with the teenager, rather than separately. Although the child may not frequently accept them, provide opportunities for him to do things with you.
• Try to avoid power struggles, confrontation, and arguing matches. Parents should try to have the communication move towards a compromise situation, rather than a battle. When appropriate, involve the teenager in decision making and setting consequences for his or her behavior.